Breakup

"Breakup"

When my last girlfriend realized that I was really
kicking her lazy ass out for good, she started trying
to patch things up. She got all sad, and looked at me
with tenderness, saying,
"You know I love you. Say those three little words that
will make me walk on air."

I said, "Go hang yourself."

*****************************

"The Clock"

A wife complains, "Our wall clock almost killed my
mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up
from the couch."

The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was
slow."

*****************************

"Buddies"

"Hey Bob," said Bill, "did you know a lot of
shrinks say that sex on the first date can
prohibit any truly meaningful and lasting
relationship from ever developing?"

"Darn right!" replied Bob. "I count on it."
Received on Sat Jan 17 09:22:28 2004