Pets At Home

"Pets At Home"

Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she
called a Repairman.

He couldn't accommodate her with an evening
appointment, and, since she had to go to work
the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key
under the mat. "Fix the dishwasher, leave the
bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check.
By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler.
He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not
under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's
apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest
and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.

But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there
on the carpet, watching the repairman go about
his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot
drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling,
and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't
contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up,
you stupid ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Burglar"

A burglar broke into a dark house and had to
stand around for a little while until his vision
adjusted. Once his vision adjusted, he moved
toward the TV and VCR. He heard a voice say,
"Jesus is watching you. "

He looked around to see where the voice was
coming from, but saw no one and ignored it. He
moved toward the TV and VCR again, and once
again heard the voice. He still saw no one and
ignored the voice. This happened a third time,
but when he looked around he saw a bird cage.

He walked to the bird cage and saw that a parrot
was in the cage. He asked the parrot if it could talk,
and the bird responded, "Yes." He asked if the parrot
had been telling him that Jesus was watching him,
and the bird responded, "Yes." He asked the bird's
name, and was told that it was Homer.

He said, "What kind of idiot would name a bird Homer?"

The bird said, "The same kind of idiot that would name
a Doberman Jesus."
Received on Sun Feb 29 04:19:18 2004