Cat For Sale

"Naughty Cat"

Signs that your cat is hanging around with the wrong
crowd:

One day, without your permission, he gets his ears
pierced.

Your credit card is overcharged, mainly for "9-Lives."

You find attached to the refrigerator a note that reads:
"Leave a steak on the front porch at midnight, or you'll
never see Spot again."

Too many times a week your cat comes home after
one in the morning, totally plastered and with a strong
odor of catnip about him.

You come home to catch him in the act of raiding your
liquor cabinet.

Several hundred dollars' worth of phone calls appear on
your phone bill to "1-900-PUSSYCAT-MEOW."

You find out that the lifetime's supply of cat food wasn't
a prize from "Kitten's Life" magazine, but that your cat
has been selling drugs in the neighborhood.

After failing to get your attention with constant meows
and by rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out
his Magnum-44 and aims it at you, demanding "Friskies"
and catnip.

**********************************

"Cat For Sale"

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed
a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer.
The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and
precious piece of pottery.

He strolled into the store and offered two dollars
for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and
undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way.
I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the
ten on the spot.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in
the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems
so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my
lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've
sold 34 cats."
Received on Wed Feb 18 06:38:49 2004