The Blonde Samaritan

"Blonde Suicide"

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late
one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide,"
the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor.
"You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger
off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these
breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my
mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth
straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going
to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear
before I pulled the trigger."

********************************

"The Blonde Samaritan"

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches
up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck,
and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the
window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather,
and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up
and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the
window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says
brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker
ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs
up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the
window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather,
and you are losing some of your load!!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and
races to the next light. When he stops this time, he
hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the
blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers
it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota, and
I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
Received on Tue Feb 17 09:25:22 2004