Complaints

"Complaints"

Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and
the Chief Priest said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery,
you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may
not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before
the Chief Priest said to him: "Brother John, you have been
here 5 years now, you may speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard Bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. "We will get you
a better bed."

After 5 more years, Brother John was called by the Chief
Priest. "You may say another two words Brother John."

"Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Chief Priest assured
him that the food would be better in the future.

On his 15 year anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest
again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you may
say today."

"I Quit." said Brother John.

"It is probably best." said the Chief Priest. "All you have done
since you got here is complain."

***********************************

"Cow"

There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890s
whose worn out body began to surrender. Her doctor
prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day,
to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly
pleasures, she huffily declined.

But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved
milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk
three times a day. Eventually, the elderly pious one
approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered
around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if
she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.

"Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"
Received on Fri Dec 17 06:15:59 2004