Traffic Court

"Traffic Court"

A New York man was forced to take a day off from
work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He
grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after
endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon,
he stood before the judge, only to hear that court
would be adjourned for the next day and he would
have to return the next day.

"What for?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp
query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's
why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge
relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough
for two more words."

*****************************************

"Victoria Station"

A man travelling on a train ask the ticket collector
what time the train stops at Victoria.

"This train doesn't stop at Victoria, its the express."
"Your joking!, I NEED to get off at Victoria."
"Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria."
"There must be something you can do"
"Well there is one thing"
"What, anything, I need to get off"
"Well, I'll get the driver to slow down and I'll dangle
you out the door and lower you onto the platform"

"My goodness! Will that work?"

"It's worth a try."

The train approaches the platform at 50 mph. The ticket
collector hangs the man in mid air out the door. The man
starts running! The man is running in mid air. "Run faster!
Run faster!" The ticket collector lowers the man down.
The mans feet touch the platform! Smoke flies of his
shoes and his heel comes off. The man is running for
his life!

The ticket collector lets go. The man is running at 30mph!!
He's made it, he begins to slow down. He's still running at
20mph along side the train as the other passengers watch
in amazement. As the last carriage goes by a hand grabs
the man by the shirt collar and lifts him back onto the train.

As he's being pulled into the carriage he hears a voice say..

"Your lucky I was here to help, this train doesn't even stop
at Victoria!!!!"
Received on Fri Dec 10 06:18:49 2004