Why Rednecks are not Paramedics

"Why Rednecks are not Paramedics"

  A couple of rednecks are out in the Tennessee woods
hunting when Bubba suddenly grabs his chest and
falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing;
his eyes are rolled back in his head. Billy Bob whips
out his cell phone and calls 911 He gasps to the
operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"

  The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just
take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's
make sure he's dead."

There is a silence.......and then a shot is heard. Billy
Bob's voice comes back on the line,

"Okay, now what???"

****************************************

"Magic Trick"

A cruise ship hired a an to entertain the passengers.
Since the passengers changed every four or five days,
the magician was able to perform the same tricks over
and over.

Unfortunately, the Captain of the ship had a parrot who
sat around and watched the magician perform his
tricks, over and over. Eventually, the parrot learned
how the tricks were done and would interrupt the act.

"It's in his sleeve" the parrot would say. "He switched balls."
"It's in his pocket". Etc., etc.

Naturally, the magician was quite disturbed by the parrot
but could do nothing about it, since it belonged to the
Captain.

Unfortunately, the cruise ship had the misfortune of hitting
an iceberg and sank to the bottom of the sea in a matter
of minutes. As fate would have it, the magician and the
parrot managed to grab hold of the same floating piece
of furniture.

For 3 days, neither said anything. The magician stared
at the parrot and the parrot stared back. Finally, on the
4th day, the parrot cracked and said:

"OK, I give up, where on Earth did you put the ship?"
Received on Thu Dec 2 06:18:02 2004