Subject: The Rules of Chocolate
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Nov 18 2003 - 06:20:31 EST
"The Rules of Chocolate"
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices
and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many
as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate
home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat
it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll
take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily
intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the
freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top
of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they
will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white
chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually
counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives
make you look younger.
Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics
Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control
top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be
devastated.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do
today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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