Subject: Headlines for 2043
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Mar 31 2003 - 04:41:17 EST
"Headlines for 2043"
Ozone created by electric cars now killing
millions in the seventh largest country in the
world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as the California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern
United States crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Authentic year 2000 "Chad" sells at Sotheby's
for $1.6 million.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can
now be imported legally, but President Chelsea
Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in
2044.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp
to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday
only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight
loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest
version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE
installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers
must be registered by January 2046.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Apr 01 2003 - 00:00:02 EST