Subject: Ineffective Daily Affirmations
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Mar 28 2003 - 06:52:45 EST
"Ineffective Daily Affirmations"
- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch
with my Inner Sociopath
- I have the power to channel my imagination into
ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise
myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- In some cultures what I do would be considered
normal.
- Having control over myself is nearly as good as
having control over others.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good
judgment.
- I can change any thought that hurts into a reality
that hurts even more.
- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I
would have no personality at all.
- Joan of Arc heard voices too.
- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all
those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan,
whimper and complain.
- As I learn the innermost secrets of the people
around me, they reward me in many ways to keep
me quiet.
- When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper
than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
- The first step is to say nice things about myself.
The second, to do nice things for myself. The third,
to find someone to buy me nice things.
- As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need
to carry a gun.
- All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly,
stupid, and disgusting parts.
- I am at one with my duality.
- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves
into knots.
- I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th
birthday.
- Only a lack of imagination saves me from
immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
- I honor and express all facets of my being,
regardless of state and local laws.
- Today I will gladly share my experience and advice,
for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
- False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a
solution to the problem.
- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all
day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into
the bedroom.
- Who can I blame for my own problems? Give
me just a minute...I'll find someone.
- Why should I waste my time reliving the past
when I can spend it worrying about the future?
- The complete lack of evidence is the surest
sign that the conspiracy is working.
- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective
as sabotage.
- Becoming aware of my character defects leads
me to the next step -- blaming my parents.
- To have a successful relationship I must learn to
make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.
- I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else
is willing to learn from them.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Apr 01 2003 - 00:00:02 EST