Subject: Epitaph
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Jun 26 2003 - 09:18:45 EDT
"Epitaph"
Three friends die in a car accident and they go
to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,
"When you are in your casket and your friends
and family are mourning you, what would you
like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say
that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great
family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that
I was a wonderful husband and a schoolteacher
who made a huge difference in our children of
tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them
say... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!"
*******************************
"Heaven"
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big
garage sale and gave all my money to the
church, would that get me into Heaven?"
I asked the children in my Sunday School
class.
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy,
would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave
candy to all the children, and loved my wife,
would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them
again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into
Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
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