Subject: Altered Egos
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Jul 27 2003 - 11:24:31 EDT
"Altered Egos"
Bruise Lee: inept martial-arts student
Merlyn Streep: professional magician
Sean Cannery: manager, fish-packing plant
Splint Eastwood: respected osteopath
Bette Fidler: skilled symphony musician
Marlon Brandy: maker of fine liqueurs
Jackie Masonry: journeyman bricklayer
Draw Barrymore: portrait artist
Leanardo de Cappuccino: founder, coffee-shop chain
**********************
"In My Next Life"
In this life I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When
you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing
but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself
stupid. I could deal with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who
are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and
wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could
definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean
business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could
deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up
growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs
and excess body fat.
Yup... gonna be a bear.
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