Subject: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jul 07 2003 - 02:14:25 EDT
"Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: We do not really care why
the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Either
the chicken is with us or it is against us. There is no
middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing
the road . . .
HANZ BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access
to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador): The chicken
did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication.
We do not even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons
of nerve gas on it.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I do not know why the chicken
crossed the road, but I will bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I will bet someone out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?
How much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars,
and when I say tax dollars, I am talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for
chickens to cross.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original
side of the road had been polluted by unchecked
industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't
it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That is what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. In addition, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until
we sort out the abomination that the liberal media white-
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you
define chicken, please?
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Aug 01 2003 - 00:00:01 EDT