Subject: An Elderly Wedding
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jan 21 2003 - 05:36:45 EST
"An Elderly Wedding"
Gene, age 89, and Lillian, age 78, are all excited
about their decision to get married. They go for
a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way
they pass a drugstore. Gene suggests they go in.
Gene addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers,
"Yes."
Gene: "We're about to get married. Do you sell
heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Gene: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Gene: "Medicine for rheumatism, sclerosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Gene: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Gene: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
Jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Gene: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills,
Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Gene: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Gene says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to
register here for our wedding gifts, please."
******************************
"About Aging"
Three men were discussing aging at the nursing
home. Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-
year-old. You always feel like you have to pee.
And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and
nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. When
you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement
anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on
the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the
worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the
60-year-old.
"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee
like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said,
"Let me get this straight. You pee every morning
at 6:00 and poop every morning at 6:30. So what's
so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
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