Subject: Letter from Santa
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Jan 01 2003 - 16:02:38 EST
Letter from Santa:
2 Cold Street,
North Pole,
H0H0H0HO
Dear Subscriber,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you
have been good this year, and since you have, I will
be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to
leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to
bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days of
Christmas," but we had a little problem up here.
The twelve fiddlers have all come down with VD
from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing.
The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up the
eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers playing
have been arrested for doing weird things to the
seven swans a swimming.
The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge
in a pear tree, have me up to here in bird poop.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through
menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat,
the elves have joined Gay Liberation, and those
dumb nincompoops have scheduled Christmas
for February 5th.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
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