Subject: The Tooth Fairy Letter
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Nov 16 2002 - 21:35:42 EST
"The Tooth Fairy Letter"
Dear ______________:
Thank you for leaving the tooth under your pillow last
night. While we make every attempt to leave a
monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's
teeth, we were unable to process your request for the
following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are
very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to
excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve
Ending Fairy for appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe
in the tooth fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was
received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating
dog at the time of our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not
satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction
as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:
Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have
provided the following certificate which you may
attempt to exchange at a retail store near you.
Thank you for your request, and we look forward
to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
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