Subject: Two Drops of Water
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri May 24 2002 - 09:15:04 EDT
"Retirement Plans"
Approaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs.
Lipkowitz finally decided it was time to give
up her apartment in New York and move to
Miami. She was given the name of a Florida
realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all
over Miami, extolling the virtues of every
apartment they looked at.
"And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized,
"the investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten
years it's going to be worth three times..."
"Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Lipkowitz, "at my
age, I don't even buy green bananas!"
*****************************
"Two Drops of Water"
A senior woman is on a cruise ship and
wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch
with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
"I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday
and it's today."
The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday,
I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to
her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink,
too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender,
I want a scotch with two drops of water.
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says,
"I would like to buy you one, too."
The old women says, "Thank you. Bartender, I
would like another scotch with two drops of water."
"Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives
her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my
age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water,
however, is a whole other issue."
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