Subject: Glossary of the Yiddish Kind
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Mar 27 2002 - 18:08:54 EST
"Glossary of the Yiddish Kind"
AFIKOMMENTS n. Adult arguing that occurs
as children search for hidden Passover matzo.
ASHKESHNOZZIM n. A nose the shape of
Florida and the size of medium potato.
BAGELA n. A gay Jewish baker.
BIALY ACHE n. The result of lunch at your mother's
and dinner at your mother-in law's.
BLINTZKRIEG n. A late-night assault on the
refrigerator in search of leftovers even though
"I won't be able to eat for a week!" Particularly
common 4-6 hours after special occasion gluttony.
BRIS AND TELL n. A detailed description given
by parents of their child's circumcision, generally
spoken quite loud in front of the grown child and
those people he would least like to hear the story.
BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her
grandchildren that she never gave to her own
children.
CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4
am so she can change the baby's diaper.
DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen
the same exasperated look on your mother's
face but not knowing exactly when.
DISCAHKENTUDE n. Looking like one isn't
involved while one's dog goes to the bathroom
on a neighbor's lawn.
DISKVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school,
med school or business school, as seen through
the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.
(In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art
history when Irv's son, David is majoring in biology,
is sufficient grounds for diskvellification).
DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in
a department store and strikes up a conversation
with everyone she passes.
FLEISHADICK n. A Jewish flasher.
FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli
street food.
GOYFER n. A gentile messenger.
HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever
learned immediately after one's Bar Mitzvah.
HEBRUTE n. Israeli after shave.
HINDSTEIN n. A Semitic smart-arse.
IMPASTA n. Someone who eats leavened foods
during Passover while maintaining he/she is
observant.
ISROYALTY n. Major contributors to the UJA, the
JUF, or the IEF.
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