Subject: Smart Suzuki
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Mar 22 2002 - 19:36:33 EST
"Smart Suzuki"
It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia,
and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a
Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade
classroom.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history. Who said, "Give me Liberty, or
give me death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki,
who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.
"Very good!" said the teacher. "Who said 'Government
of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not
perish from the earth?' "
Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country,
knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm going to
puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Suzuki said, "George Bush, to the Japanese
Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah?
Well, suck this!"
Suzuki jumped out of his chair waving his hand
wildly and shouted to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to
Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with an almost mob hysteria someone said,
"You little crap! If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary
Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001!"
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered
around the teacher lying on the floor, someone said,
"Oh well, we're screwed!"
Then Suzuki quietly said, "The Taliban, 2001."
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