Subject: Joe's Barber Shop
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Mar 14 2002 - 19:32:49 EST
"Haircut"
A blonde went in to the hairdresser to get her
haircut. She was wearing headphones. When
the hairdresser asked her to remove them, she
told them she couldn't. The hairdresser told her
she would have to take them off in order to get
a good haircut and she said, "I can't. The doctor
said if I take them off I will die."
So the hairdresser proceeded to cut her hair with
the headphones on. In the process, she accidentally
knocked them off, and the lady fell over dead. They
were startled and couldn't figure out why that would
have happened. They picked up the headphones to
listen and heard a voice saying, "Breathe in-breathe
out, breathe in-breathe out."
*****************************
"Joe's Barber Shop"
A man walked in to Joe's Barber Shop for his
regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks,
"What's up?"
The man proceeds to explain he's taking a
vacation to Rome.
"ROME?!" Joe says, "Why would you want to
go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians!
You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting
there?"
"We're taking AA," the man replies.
"AA?!" yells Joe. "They're a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and
they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?"
The man says "We'll be at the downtown International
Marriot."
"That DUMP?!" says Joe. "That's the worst hotel in
the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly
and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing
when you get there?"
The man says "We're going to go see the Vatican
and hope to see the Pope."
"HA! That's rich!" laughs Joe. "You and a million
other people trying to see him. He'll look the size
of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going
to need it!"
A month later, the man comes in for his regular
haircut. Joe says, "Well, how did that trip to Rome
turn out? Betcha AA gave you the worst flight of
your life!"
"No, quite the opposite," explained the man. "Not
only were we on time in one of their brand new
planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to
first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and
I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who
waited on me hand and foot!"
"Hmmm," Joe says, "Well, I bet the hotel was
just like I described."
"No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25
million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome,
now. They were overbooked, so they apologized
and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra
charge!"
"Well," Joe mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't get to
see the Pope!"
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the
Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder
and explained the Pope likes to personally meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into this private room and wait, the Pope would
personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes
the Pope walked through the door and shook my
hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
Impressed, Joe asks, "Tell me, please! What'd he
say?"
"Oh, not much really. Just, 'Where'd you get that
awful haircut?' "
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Mon Apr 01 2002 - 00:00:01 EST