Subject: Resume Bloopers
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jan 21 2002 - 02:29:55 EST
"Resume Bloopers"
"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't
require prescription drugs.
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so
please don't let them know of my immediate
availability."
"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion
and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm
a class act and do not come cheap."
"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've
made money and lost money. I've been rich
and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs
as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by
8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those
conditions."
REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:
"Was met with a string of broken promises
and lies, as well as cockroaches."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to
move."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like
my three previous employers."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Feb 01 2002 - 00:00:01 EST