Subject: A Talking Dog
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Jan 11 2002 - 06:25:32 EST
"A Talking Dog"
A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog. "This is
a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for
five dollars."
The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding
with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes.
"Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel.
He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never
takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick
dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the
army and was decorated ten times."
"Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you
want to sell him for just five dollars?"
"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his
lies."
**************************
"Racing Horses"
Two horses were walking back to the paddock
after a days training. One says to the other, "I can't
understand why we are so slow, we come from
good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers,
and yet we come last in every race."
There was a dog running along side them who
overheard and said, "I know what your problem is.
I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you
race off at the start really fast and use up all your
energy and then you have nothing left. What you
should do is pace yourselves and when all the
other horses are knackered, put in a spurt and
you're sure to win. What do you think of that?"
The horses looked at one another and said,
"Wow, bloody hell, a talking dog!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Feb 01 2002 - 00:00:01 EST