Subject: You Know You're Italian When....
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Jan 09 2002 - 06:30:36 EST
"You Know You're Italian When...."
1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day, but you still cry when your
mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because
you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches," 4 oranges
and 3 bananas into a regular paper lunch bag.
3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the
bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.
4. You share a bathroom with your 5 siblings, have
no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro.
5. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant
and travel agent, are all blood relatives.
6. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S"
cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast.
7. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still
have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).
8. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and
brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
9. You are a card-carrying VIP at more than
3 dance clubs.
10. You have at least 5 cousins living on your
street. All 5 of those cousins are named after
your grandfather or grandmother.
11. In some capacity, there is a dump truck
in your life.
12. A high school diploma and 1 year of
community college has earned you the title
of "professore" among your aunts.
13. You are on a first name basis with at least
8 banquet hall owners.
14. You only get one good shave from a
disposable razor.
15. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 6",
it is presumed his mother had an affair.
16. There are more than 28 people in your bridal
party.
17. You netted more than $50,000 on your first
communion.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Feb 01 2002 - 00:00:01 EST