Subject: Divine Inspiration
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Feb 28 2002 - 07:44:44 EST
"Thou Shalt Not Steal"
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep
it any longer. In the confessional he admitted
that for years he had been stealing building
supplies from the lumberyard where he
worked.
"What did you take?" his priest asked.
"Enough to build my own house and enough
for my son's house. And houses for our two
daughters and our cottage at the lake."
"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall
have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have
you ever done a retreat?"
"No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But
if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
**********************************
"Divine Inspiration"
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble.
His business was failing, he had put everything
he had into the business, he owed everybody--
it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide.
As a last resort he went to a priest and poured
out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's
what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your
Bible in your car and drive down to the beach.
Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's
edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible
in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the
pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest
on a page. Look down at the page and read the
first thing you see. That will be your answer, that
will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the
priest and brought his wife and children with him.
The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his
wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The
businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with
money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as
a donation in thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was
curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
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