Subject: Horse Blessing
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Feb 24 2002 - 02:34:22 EST
"Catholic or Protestant"
There is this American tourist on a trip around
Ireland.
When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides
to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this
new culture. After he's been walking for a
while someone rushes up behind him and
sticks a gun in his back.
The person says to the tourist, "What are you,
Catholic or Protestant?"
The American thinks to himself "Great -- if I say
I'm Catholic, this guy is sure to be Protestant.
If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be Catholic.
Either way I'm dead." Then he has a brain wave
and says to the guy, "Actually I'm Jewish." This,
he thinks to himself, will surely keep him safe.
The guy behind him then replies, "Gee, I must be
the luckiest Arab in Ireland."
**************************
"Horse Blessing"
Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack.
One afternoon he noticed an unusual site.
Right before the first race, a Catholic Priest
visited one of the horses in the stable area
and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the
horse race very carefully, and, sure enough,
the blessed horse came in first!
Charlie followed the Priest before the next race.
Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed
another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars
on that horse and won close to fifty bucks!
The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie
kept betting on them and they won!
The last race of the day was the biggest and
Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also!
He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his
life's savings of $20,000, went back to the
racetrack and put it all on that horse! He
watched the race in certain anticipation of
leaving a millionaire! The horse was last to
cross the line and Charlie was dead broke!
He couldn't believe what happened so he went
looking for the Priest. He found the man and
asked, "What happened to that last horse you
blessed? Because your blessing didn't work,
I've lost all of my money!"
The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you
Protestants. You can't tell the difference
between a blessing and the Last Rites!"
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