Subject: Midlife is
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Aug 22 2002 - 20:32:14 EDT
"Midlife is..."
Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs
slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care
for our newly acquired mustache.
In midlife women no longer have upper arms; we
have wingspans. We are no longer women in
sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.
Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of
the mirror and can see your rear end without
turning around.
Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't
bounce back. It's more like splat!
Midlife is when you realize that, if you were a dog,
you would need a control top flea collar.
Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws
you curves and that you're now sitting on
your biggest ones.
Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side.
You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-
wearing know-it-all teenager and think,
"For this I have stretch marks?"
Midlife is when your memory really starts
to go: the only thing you still retain is water.
The good news about midlife is the glass
is still half full. Of course, the bad news is
that it won't be long before your teeth are
floating in it.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sun Sep 01 2002 - 00:00:02 EDT