Subject: Facts!
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Aug 06 2002 - 21:24:36 EDT
"Facts"
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've
been in it for awhile ... it isn't so hot.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.
I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to
happen.'
If you're playing a poker game and you look around
the table and can't tell who the sucker is---- it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
in hospitals dying of nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ... she said they
certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like
they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first
thing they notice about women is their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about
men is they're a bunch of liars.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save
you thirty cents?
In the 60s people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
If you remember the 60s, you weren't there.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears
a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-
and-a-half for an appointment, and he says,
"I wish you'd come to me sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them
came here legally, but they hang around on these
expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two
days late with a video and these people are all over
you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
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