Subject: A Parable For Our Times
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Apr 15 2002 - 02:55:14 EDT
"A Parable For Our Times (or Management 101)"
Once upon a time, there lived a man named
Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix.
Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence
on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but
he always dreamed of being rich. "Felix!" he
exclaimed one day, "We re going to be rich! I'm
going to teach you to fly!"
Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect:
"I can't fly, you idiot.....I'm a frog, not a canary!"
Clarence, disappointed at the initial reaction, told
Felix, "That negative attitude of yours could be a
real problem. I m sending you to class."
So Felix went to a three-day class and learned
about problem solving, time management, and
effective communication....but nothing about flying.
On the first day of "flying lessons," Clarence could
barely control his excitement (and Felix could barely
control his bladder). Clarence explained that their
apartment building had fifteen floors and each day
Felix would jump out of a window, starting with the
first floor and eventually getting to the top floor. After
each jump, Felix would analyze how well he flew,
isolate on the most effective flying techniques and
implement the improved process for the next flight.
By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would
surely be able to fly.
Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears.
"He doesn't understand how important this is..."
thought Clarence, "but I won't let nay-sayers get
in my way." So, with that, Clarence opened the
window and threw Felix out (who landed with a thud).
Next day (poised for his second flying lesson) Felix
again begged not to be thrown out of the window.
With that, Clarence opened his pocket guide to
Managing More Effectively and showed Felix the
part about how one must always expect resistance
when implementing new programs. And with that,
he threw Felix out the window. (THUD)
On the third day (at the third floor), Felix tried a
different ploy. Stalling, he asked for a delay in the
"project" until better weather would make flying
conditions more favorable. But Clarence was
ready for him. He produced a timeline and pointed
to the third milestone and asked, "You don't want to
slip the schedule do you?" From his training, Felix
knew that not jumping today would mean that he
would have to jump TWICE tomorrow.... so he just
said, "OK. Let s go." And out the window he went.
Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best.
On the fifth day he flapped his feet madly in a vain
attempt to fly. On the sixth day he tied a small red
cape around his neck and tried to think "Superman"
thoughts. But try as he might, he couldn t fly.
By the seventh day, Felix (accepting his fate) no
longer begged for mercy...he simply looked at
Clarence and said, "You know you re killing me,
don't you?" Clarence pointed out that Felix's
performance so far had been less than exemplary,
failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had
set for him. With that, Felix said quietly, "Shut up
and open the window," and he leaped out, taking
careful aim on the large jagged rock by the corner
of the building. And Felix went to that great lily pad
in the sky.
Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had
failed to meet a single goal that he had set out to
accomplish. Felix had not only failed to fly, he didn't
even learn to steer his flight as he fell like a sack of
cement....nor did he improve his productivity when
Clarence had told him, "Fall smarter, not harder."
The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyze
the process and try to determine where it had gone
wrong.
After much thought, Clarence smiled to himself
and said...
"Next time, I m getting a smarter frog!
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