Subject: "Two Cow Explanation"
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Sep 29 2001 - 02:21:54 EDT
The "Two Cow Explanation" Of What Makes...
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You
keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government
takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor
has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor
has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You
vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing
you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The
people you voted for then take the tax money and buy
a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government
seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and sells you the milk. You join the underground
and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only
one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two
cows. The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the
milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but
you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You
stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two
cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You
take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows,
none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows, and the American corporation
declares bankruptcy.
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