Subject: Cat Commandments
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Sep 08 2001 - 03:15:02 EDT
"Cat Commandments"
Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy
human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back
of the modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor
as thou are not transparent.
Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the
refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence
licking thy butt.
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's
face.
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's
genital region.
Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking
on it.
Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged
lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human
is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder
at 4 a.m.
Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from
which to escape at any opportunity.
Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking
too slow.
Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there
are guests in thy house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that
house plants are not meat.
Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Mon Oct 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT