Subject: Pulled Over Motorist
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Sep 03 2001 - 02:26:33 EDT
"Speed Trap"
A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching
for speeders along a well traveled stretch of highway.
The location, at a bend in the road, allowed him to hide
his car out of sight of oncoming traffic while setting up
his radar to nab any speeders who passed by. He had
used this location successfully a number of times,
especially on holidays, and decided to use it again on a
Labor Day weekend.
The officer arrived at his hiding place and set himself up,
settling down to wait for the first speeders to appear.
After a half hour or so the officer hadn't seen anybody
speeding. In fact most of the cars that passed him were
traveling exactly at the speed limit, and some of the
passengers in the passing cars were even smiling and
waving at him. He couldn't believe this was happening
since his hiding place was so well concealed.
Finally, after realizing that virtually all the passing cars
knew he was there, the officer decided that something
was wrong and went to investigate. He got out of his
car and walked up the road a short distance. About
100 yards before his hiding place the officer found the
problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of
the road with a huge hand painted sign which said
"RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work
led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about
100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading
"TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.
***************************
"Pulled Over Motorist"
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has
the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got
my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw
the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my
gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed
the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can
see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told
you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped
you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the
car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead
body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was
speeding, too.
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