Subject: That Darn Bird
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Nov 28 2001 - 14:10:43 EST
"Parrot's Vocabulary"
So there's this guy with a parrot. And this parrot
swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can
swear for five minutes straight without repeating
himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet,
conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving
him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the
bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells,
"QUIT IT!!!" This just makes the bird more mad and he
swears more than ever.
The guy decides to get tough and locks the bird in the
kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he
claws and scratches at the door. When the guy finally
lets the bird out, he lets loose with a stream of vulgarities
that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At this point the guy gets so mad he throws the bird
into the freezer. For the first few minutes there is a
terrible din. Kicking and clawing and thrashing and
swearing. Then...silence.
At first, the guy just waits. Thinking the bird may be
hurt, he opens the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched
hand and says, "So sorry about the trouble I've given
you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from
now on."
The guy is astounded. He cannot understand the
transformation that has come over his foul parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way... what did the
chicken do?"
******************************
"That Darn Bird"
A lady is walking down the street to work and sees
a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store
to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the
window. and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey
lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly
ticked now. The next day on the way to work she
saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey
lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious
that she stormed into the store and threatened to
sue the store and have the bird killed.
The store manager apologized profusely and promised
the bird wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked
past the store after work, the parrot said to her, "Hey
lady."
She paused and said," yes?"
The bird said, "You know."
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