Subject: Life on Mars
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed May 23 2001 - 10:05:43 EDT
"Fidel"
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets
there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the
list and that no way, no how, does he belong
in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes
to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome
and tells him to make himself at home.
Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in
heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay
problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to
get your stuff."
When the little devils get to heaven they find the
gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and
they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes
up with the idea that they should go over the wall
and get the luggage.
As they are climbing the wall, two little angels
see them, and one angel says to the other, "My
goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than
ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"
***************************
"Life on Mars"
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA;
they had just made the scientific achievement of
a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne,
Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA,
asked everyone to be quiet as he had received
a congratulatory phone call from the President
of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning
broadly, "after twelve years of hard research
and billions of dollars spent, we have finally
found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually
disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could
never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up
the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists
staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President
said that now that we've found intelligent life on
Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
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