Subject: Confused Defendant
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Jul 12 2001 - 16:35:04 EDT
"Hammer"
A man is in court for murder and the judge says,
"You are charged with beating your wife to death
with a hammer."
Then a voice at the back of the court yells, "You
bastard!"
The judge glares and then continues, "You are
also charged with beating your mother-in-law
to death with a hammer."
Again the voice at the back of the court shouts,
"You bastard!"
The judge angrily addresses the voice and says,
"Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts
from you or I shall charge you with contempt. What
is the problem anyway?"
The man at the back of the court who's been
shouting calls out, "Fifteen years I lived next door
to that bastardand, every time I asked to borrow
a hammer, he said he didn't have one! ..."
***********************
"Confused Defendant"
After a long two-week criminal trial in a high profile
bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours
of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver
its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury
foreman and asks,
"Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes, your honor," the foreman responded.
"Would you please pass it to me,"
The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff
to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and
deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers
the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the
foreman and instructs the foreman,
"Please read your verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four
counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.
The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy
at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each
other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude.
The defendant's attorney turns to his client and asks,
"So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly
with a bewildered look on his face and then turns
to his defense attorney and says,
"I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have
to return the money?"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Aug 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT