Subject: Things We Learn From Children
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Jan 25 2001 - 06:11:54 EST
"Things We Learn From Children"
There is no such thing as child-proofing your
house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42
pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear
and a superman cape.
It is strong enough however to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when
the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you
have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
When you hear the toilet flush and the
words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
If you use a waterbed as home plate while
wearing baseball shoes it does not leak --
it explodes.
A king size waterbed holds enough water
to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches
deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract
of a four year old. Duplos will not.
Play Dough and Microwave should never
be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Thu Feb 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EST