Subject: Weight Loss
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Dec 26 2001 - 12:03:27 EST
"Weight Loss"
Did you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried
every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight?
He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight
Watchers, and many more. None worked.
Then, one day, he was reading the Post when he
noticed a small ad that read: Lose weight, Only
$1.00 a pound, Call (999) 555-0238
The man decided to give it a try and called the number.
A voice on the other end asked, "How much weight do
you want to lose?"
The man responded, "Ten pounds."
The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit
card number and we'll have a representative over
to your house in the morning."
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a
knock on the door. There stood a beautiful blonde,
completely naked except for a sign around her
neck stating, "If you catch me, you can have me."
Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs,
over sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house.
Finally, panting and wheezing like a dog, he did catch
her. When he was through enjoying himself, she said,
"Quick, go into the bathroom and weigh yourself."
He did just that and was amazed to find that he had
lost ten pounds, right to the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice
on the other end asked, "How much weight do you
want to lose?"--to which the somewhat-less-
overweight man replied, "Twenty pounds."
"Very well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give me
your credit card number and we'll have a representative
over to your house in the morning."
At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives
a knock on the door. When he opens the door he sees
a beautiful redhead dressed only in track shoes and a
sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me, you can
have me."
The chase took a good while longer this time and the
man nearly passed out, but he finally did catch her.
When he was through, she told him, "Quick, run into
the bathroom and weigh yourself." He ran to the
bathroom and found he had lost another 20 pounds!
"This is fantastic!" he thought to himself. Later that
evening he called the number again and the voice at
the other end asked, "How much weight do you want
to lose?"
"Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed.
"Fifty pounds?" the voice asked, "That's an awful lot
of weight to lose at one time."
The man replied, "Listen buddy, here's my credit card
number, you just have your representative over here
in the morning!" and he hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of
bed, splashes on some cologne and gets all ready
for the next representative.
At about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When
he opens the door, he sees this large gorilla with a
sign around his neck stating, "If I catch you, I'm going
to screw YOU."
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