Subject: 10 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Dec 24 2001 - 03:03:41 EST
"10 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus"
1. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone
away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind
watering your plants.
2. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you
think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red
cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
3. Build an army of snowmen on the roof, holding
signs - "Bah Humbug" and "Santa Unfair To Elves."
4. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he
comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave
until the strippers arrive.
5. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and
sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees
you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that
last payment, and take off.
6. Take everything out of your house as if it's
just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up
dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well.
They always return to the scene of the crime."
7. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with
last-minute changes and corrections.
8. While he's in the house, cover the top of the
chimney with barbed wire.
9. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out
where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside,
yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!"
and fire a gun.
10. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for
Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood
ain't big enough for the both of us."
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