Subject: Dog Fight
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Dec 08 2001 - 18:12:29 EST
"Unknown White Powdery Substance"
Dallas Cowboys football practice was delayed on
Wednesday for nearly two hours at Valley Ranch.
One of the players, while on his way to the locker
room happened to look down and notice a suspicious
looking, unknown white powdery substance on the
practice field.
Head coach Dave Campo immediately suspended
practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined
that the white substance unknown to the players
was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents
decided that the team would not be likely to encounter
the substance again.
*******************************
"Dog Fight"
George W. Bush and Osama decided to settle the war
once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle
the whole dispute with one big dog fight.
They agreed that they would have five years to breed
the best fighting dogs in the world and whose dog won
would be entitled to dominate the world.
Osama and his dog handler Mohammed found the
biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world, then bred them with the biggest, meanest
Siberian wolves they could find. From the litters, they
selected the biggest and strongest puppy and trained
it day and night to fight to the death.
After five years Osama and Mohammed came up with
the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its
cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and
nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, George and his
dog handler Boudreaux showed up with a nine foot long
Dachshund. It was the strangest looking dog anyone
had ever seen. Boudreaux said it was a Cajun Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for George and Boudreaux because
they knew there was no way that this poor excuse for a
dog could possibly last 10 seconds with Osama's big,
mean animal.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund slowly
came out of its cage, wagged its tail, then waddled over
towards Osama's dog. The Doberman/Rottweiler/Wolf
snarled and leaped out of its cage, then charged the poor
Dachshund.
But when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's
neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and ate Osama's
dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the snarling
beast.
Osama came up to George and Boudreaux shaking his
head in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could
have happened. We had our best people working for five
years with the biggest, meanest Dobermans and
Rottweilers, and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves
in the world. How did you do this?"
"Da's easy," said Boudreaux the Cajun. "We 'ad our
bess plasic surgins workin' fo' five year for to make
dat alligator look like a weenie dog."
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