Subject: You Know It's Time To Go Home When..
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Aug 24 2001 - 08:45:47 EDT
"You Know It's Time To Go Home When ..."
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your
pants up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's butt.
4. In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more
like Tammy Faye Baker than the seductress you were
just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up
and carry on eating.
6. You start crying.
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to
start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade
science teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a
table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. You've forgotten where you live.
12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the
cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned
10 times by now) you only smoke when you drink.
13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you
by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can
no longer taste the gin or vodka.
14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely
like pizza.
15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't
take this the wrong way, but..."
16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when you
sit on it.
17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling
take-down moves.
18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why
not?!).
19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up
if they really want to.
20. You read this list and know it applies to you.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sat Sep 01 2001 - 00:00:02 EDT