Subject: Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Aug 22 2001 - 07:44:29 EDT
27. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7 days.
28. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
29. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.
30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway;
it's genetic.
31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the
genie to come out.
32. You can either ask us to do something OR
tell us how you want it done-not both.
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say during commercials.
34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,
and neither do we.
35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut
blouses lose their right to complain about having
their boobs stared at. If you dress like an easy
woman, you should expect to be treated like one.
36. More women should wear Wonderbras and
low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.
37. The relationship is never going to be like it
was the first two months we were going out.
38. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like old windows
default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
39. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
40. If it itches, it will be scratched. Also, if we
have to pass gas or burp, we will.
41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are
for you.
42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why
MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.
43. We are not mind readers and we never will
be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof
of how little we care about you.
44. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you
are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will
briefly fantasize about making out with her. But
do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her,
together.
46. What the hell is a doily?
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