Signs You've Bought A Bad Car


Subject: Signs You've Bought A Bad Car
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Aug 10 2001 - 11:59:19 EDT


"Signs You've Bought A Bad Car"

~ Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty
Garbage Bags.

~ The car reaches its optimum speed when going
downhill.

~ The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new
needle.

~ The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror
Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."

~ The odometer on the dashboard is not as
sophisticated as the everyday abacus.

~ Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway
you're taking.

~ The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries
Not Included."

~ You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coal.

~ You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet
Pushing.

~ When you approach hitchhikers, they put their
thumbs down. ..

*************************

"Backseat driver"

My wife and I get along just great, except that she's a
"backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting
up with her pestering, I finally decided I'd had enough
and advised her that I would no longer drive with her in
the car.

Later that day, on my way home from doing some
Christmas shopping at the mall, I heard my cell phone
ring as I was merging onto a freeway. It was my wife
calling.

By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind me.

"Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put
on your lights; it's starting to rain."



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