Subject: You Know You're an MBA When...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Aug 09 2001 - 21:04:51 EDT
"You Know You Have Finished Your MBA When..."
You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core
competencies are.
You decide to re-org your family into a 'team-
based organization.'
You refer to dating as test marketing.
You can spell 'paradigm.'
You actually know what a paradigm is.
You understand your airline's fare structure.
You write executive summaries on your love letters.
You think it is actually efficient to write a ten-page
paper with six other people you do not know.
You believe you never have any problems in your life,
just 'issues' and 'improvement opportunities.'
You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
You refer to your previous life as 'my sunk costs.'
Your three meals a day are a 'morning consumption
function', a 'noontime consumption function', and an
'even consumption function.'
You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
You refer to divorce as 'divestiture.'
Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot
drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
None of your favorite publications have cartoons.
You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure
instead of an expense.
You insist that you do some more market research
before you and your spouse produce another child.
At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an
emergency meeting about their brand equity.
You decided the only way to afford a house is to call
your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after
them if they help with the down payment.
Your 'deliverable' for Sunday evening is clean laundry
and paid bills.
You use the term 'value-added' without falling down
laughing.
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