Subject: Signs That You Have Lived in NYC for Too Long
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Apr 26 2001 - 01:35:54 EDT
"25 Signs That You Have Lived in New York for Too Long"
1. You get very annoyed with out-of-towners who
think the subway is unsafe.
2. You actively avoid bars that people from the outer
boroughs frequent.
3. You figure that a date costs at least $200.
4. You have not seen a bank teller in several years,
because your idea of going to the bank is using the
ATM at your corner deli.
5. You haven't smelled grass clippings in over a year.
6. You haven't "called shotgun" in a long, long time.
7. You think that New Jersey seems really far away.
8. You plot the Barney's Warehouse Sale on your
calendar.
9. You have over two month's rent in credit card debt,
but you still eat out every night.
10. Your give out your cell phone number to people you
meet, because that is the best way to reach you.
11. You have stayed out later than 4 am on a Monday
or a Tuesday night.
12. Your passport gets more use than your driver's
license.
13. You are ashamed to be assigned a 646 area code.
14. You can't imagine eating dinner before 8 o'clock
at night.
15. Not one of your adult friends is married, has a car,
owns an apartment, or aspires to any of the above.
16. You think nothing of a man in leather pants.
17. Your childhood bedroom is bigger than your current
apartment, but your rent costs more than your parents'
mortgage payment.
18. At least one meal each week consists solely of
drinks, olives, and nuts.
19. You eat Thai, Vietnamese, Indian and sushi at least
once each week.
20. You tell everyone you love NY because of the cultural
institutions, but can't remember the last time you set foot
in a museum or theater.
21. You spend $10 to see a movie.
22. You take $150 with you every night you go out: $20 for
cabs, $20 for cover, $60 for dinner, and $50 for drinks.
23. You have gone out on 3 dates with 3 different people in
the same week,
but haven't spoken to any of them since.
24. You wear Prada shoes, Gucci sunglasses, a Cartier
watch, and cashmere, but claim to be poor.
25. You think the only places you could ever live are
New York, Paris, London, San Francisco or on an island
in the Caribbean.
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