Subject: The Real Truth
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Apr 02 2001 - 03:02:24 EDT
"The Real Truth"
"EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES"
Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes,
when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything
comes in threes. By the way, in ancient times it was widely
believed that everything came in twenty-sixes.They were
wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
"YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)" Well... that
depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can
certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with
you, they can probably put some of your things in your pockets.
"YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY"
Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because
you've just learned it doesn't mean it's new. Other people
already knew it.
"THE SKY'S THE LIMIT"
Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends.
What kind of a limit is that? The earth is the limit. You dig
a hole and what do you keep getting? More earth.... The
earth is the limit.
"YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR"
Clearly this is not true. Have you been on-line shopping
recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you
get what you pay for. Have you checked you telephone bill,
or Visa account lately?
"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY"
Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no
idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be
another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the
first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be
today again.
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST"
Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys
finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last.
By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that
nice guys finished 27th. You can see how limited those
people were.
"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL"
Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious.
If you've seen one, you've seen... one. If you've seen them
all, only *then* you've seen them all. I don't even understand
how this stupid maxim got started.
" WE ARE GOING TO WAR TO BRING PEACE "
Yeah, right !
"EVERYBODY HAS HIS PRICE"
Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people
who do not have their price? Thanks to a IRS mix-ups,
many people have someone else's price.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue May 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT