Subject: At The Gates Of Heaven
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Sep 07 2000 - 20:56:13 EDT
"At The Gates Of Heaven"
St Peter becomes aware of a man standing
outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and
down.
"Excuse me, can I help you?" he asks.
"No, it's alright. Won't be long." And he
distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs
and paces on.
St. Peter gives it another 5 minutes and asks
again.
The man stops and says, "Look, you know
I'm dead. I know I'm dead. Will someone
please tell the cardiac arrest team?"
***************************
"Options"
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in
a terrible car accident. They were all brought
to the same emergency room, but all three
of them died before they arrived. Just as they
were about to put the toe tag on the American,
he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished,
the doctors and nurses present asked him
what happened.
"Well, " said the American, "I remember the
crash, and then there was a beautiful light,
and then the Canadian and the Scot and I
were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter
approached us and said that we were all too
young to die, and that for a donation of $50,
we could return to the earth.
So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave
him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was
back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors,
"But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American,
"the Scot was haggling over the price and
the Canadian was waiting for the government
to pay for his."
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