Subject: 15 Things Never To Say
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Oct 17 2000 - 10:44:31 EDT
When you are arguing with the woman you
love, be sensitive, restrained...and don't say
anything stupid. There are times, your life
just might depend on it.
"15 Things Never To Say..."
1. "Don't you have some laundry to do, or
something?"
2. "No, really, I was laughing about...this joke I
heard one time."
3. "Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset."
4. "You're just upset because your caboose is
starting to spread."
5. "Wait a minute, I get it... What time of the
month is it?"
6. "Are you gonna cry? {Force lip to quiver
mockingly} Cry for your mommy?"
7. "You sure you don't want to consult the
great Oprah on this one?"
8. "Sorry, I was just picturing you naked."
9. "That reminds me. Next time you go to
the store, could you add 'giant cork' to the
shopping list?"
10. "Whoa, time out honey, Frasier's back."
11. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl
of Bitch Flakes this morning."
12. "Is there anyway we could do this via
e-mail?"
13. "Hey baby-if I want a lecture about
commitment, I can get one from my real
wife."
14. "I could so use some oral sexual
stimulation right now."
15. "Whom are you kidding? We both know
that thing isn't loaded."
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