Subject: The SBJGS and Company-wide Morale Boosting
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Nov 20 2000 - 04:23:43 EST
"The SBJGS and Company-wide Morale Boosting"
...Had the most interesting conversation with the top
sales weasel at our company today. She came into
my office and noticed I had a box of Altoids on my desk.
(Have you had them? They are these obnoxiously
strong peppermints made in England.) As soon as
she saw them, she burst into laughter. Turns out she
had recently had an affair with a guy who called her
and left her an incredibly steamy voice mail message
after an encounter.
He went on and on about what a blow job goddess
she was, how amazing she was, how he'd never be
the same, etc. She was kind of puzzled, thinking:
what did I do to this guy that was so different from
my regular technique?
She finally figured it out: she's a smoker, and before
getting intimate with him, she had gone to the
bathroom to "freshen up." Not having a toothbrush,
she crunched on about four Altoids and then got
busy. Apparently, things went amazingly.
So she passed this little tidbit on to another female
sales weasel, who immediately tried it out on *her*
fiancee. Apparently this guy has never, ever been
into oral sex, but liked the mint sensation so much
that he asked her to stop and chew another Altoids
mid-blow job. He is now a fellatio gourmand. (er...
Shouldn't this be a "gourmet?" After all, this guy
now is a connoisseur, not just someone who likes
it... - LadyHawke)
This news has been going around our office. Having
a box of Altoids on your desk is now like being part
of the Secret Blowjob Goddess Society [SBJGS].
It's the equivalent of having the hottest car or coolest
computer. News spread like crazy among the females,
who all went out at lunch to Walgreens to buy a box
of Altoids (about $2 for 100 or so), and their partners
across the city tonight are getting one hell of a
corporate blow job. As far as company-wide morale
boosting events, it doesn't get much better.
Some of the men found out, too -- they went out after
work to buy them for their wives. They strategized
on how to get their wives to eat them. And people
wonder why I work in technology?
(For what it's worth -- it really does work! It leaves
a lasting tingle that is apparently quite exquisite.)
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Dec 01 2000 - 00:00:02 EST