Performance Appraisals


Subject: Performance Appraisals
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Nov 20 2000 - 04:21:51 EST


"Performance Appraisal Terms
And Their Real Meanings"

Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullcrap

Good Communication Skills - Spends a lot
of time on phone

Average Employee - Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major
blunders yet

Work Is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially - Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker - Nobody knows what
s/he does

Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision
Aggressive - Obnoxious

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone
else to do it

Expresses Him/herself Well - Speaks English

Meticulous Attention To Detail - A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has a
loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgment - Lucky

Keen Sense Of Humor - Knows a lot of
dirty jokes

Career Minded - Back Stabber

Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else



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