Subject: Happy July 4th!
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jul 04 2000 - 11:01:49 EDT
"Signing the Declaration"
A school teacher was quizzing her students.
"Johnny, who signed the Declaration of
Independence?"
He said, "Damn if I know."
She was a little put out by his swearing, so
she told him to go home and to bring his
father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat
in the back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally
got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask
you again. Who signed the Declaration of
Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told
you I didn't know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed
a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny,
if you signed that damn thing, hell, you
damn well better admit it!"
*****************************************
"Fireworks"
One year, Johnny's family was having the
"extended family" 4th of July cookout at their
home. One of the special treats that year was
the lighting of the fireworks (Roman candles,
bottle rockets, missile batteries, etc.) they had
bought out of state. (because they are illegal in
their state, of course!)
Just before they were to arrive, a cousin calls,
saying their neighbor's plans had just fallen
through, and could they bring them along to the
picnic - they even had extra food to bring.
"Sure, the more the merrier!"
Upon arrival and meeting of their cousin's
neighbor, it is discovered that he's a police
officer. The father turns as innocently as he
can to Johnny, and whispers to him to grab the
paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and
hide them somewhere quickly. Johnny disappears,
and the father changes the topic to food for the
day. The family had brought some chicken to grill,
so the father tells then the gas grill is all set to
use out back - just turn on the gas and push the
ignition button with the lid still closed.
They head out the back, as Johnny comes back
in through the front door. The father hurries to
him and says "Whew, that was close! That
man's a police officer, and he almost saw the
fireworks. Did you hide them real well?"
"Oh, yes! Nobody will ever think to look in
the grill!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Aug 01 2000 - 00:00:02 EDT