Subject: Politically Correct Rudolph
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Jan 28 2000 - 07:35:30 EST
"Politically Correct Rudolph"
Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved
ungulate,
Original: Had a very shiny nose ...
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed
a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.
Original: And if you ever saw him ...
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances
were to present themselves that he ever
came into your view,
Original: You would even say it glows ...
Translation: You would most undoubtedly
remark at to its illuminary qualities.
Original: All of the other reindeer ...
Translation: The multitude of other members
of the population in his ecological community,
Original: Used to laugh and call him names ...
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled
boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable
pseudonyms -- the objective of which was to
lower his self-esteem and make him miserable.
Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in
any reindeer games ...
Translation: They also excluded him from
participation in leisure activities consistent
with their species.
Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve ...
Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth of
December in an unspecified year...
Original: Santa came to say ...
Translation: A mythological, supernatural being
inherent to western culture (who symbolizes
the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings gifts
to children) arrived through the supersaturated,
humid air.
Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright ...
Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due
to his extraordinary nasal characteristic.
Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Translation: To stand at the forefront of his
snow vehicle with the express purpose that
he navigate through the nocturnal mist.
Original: Then all the reindeer loved him ...
Translation: At that point, the multitude of other
members of the population in his ecological
community who had previously teased,
chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him
unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their d
isposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial,
amicable relationship.
Original: And they shouted out with glee ...
Translation: They consequently exclaimed
with great exaltation and fervor,
Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal
with a maroon nasal appendage,
Original: You'll go down in history!
Translation: You shall most certainly be
recorded in the annals of time, and your
memory will be preserved for posterity!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:06 EST